Starcrossed
by WingsofRain
Summary: / ash & may / "One day," I thought. "One day, I'll write our names into the stars. They hold you and me and all the world." Jirachi Wishmaker through May's eyes.


**Hello everyone! It's been quite a while - I hope you are all having a lovely week :)**

**Well...this fanfic has been very near and dear to my heart for a very long time. I think I've spent...about two years on this? Anyway. It's hard for me to watch this get published. But I'm forcing myself to do so because if I didn't, I would just keep working on it forever.**

**This fanfic is also dedicated to _IcyRainCloud_, for being the hundredth reviewer of my previous fic, 'Halves make a Whole' - I promised her this a long time ago, so I'm hoping that the story is good enough to make up for the long wait :)**

**About the story: Very May-centric, with mild Advanceshipping, at least by my own standards. I don't typically like to write in first-person, but this was an exception. Oh, and you should watch the movie _Jirachi: Wishmaker _if you haven't already...or at least know what happened in it, because if you don't, then this fanfic will get very confusing ^^; This fanfic basically takes all the montages of May making her wish on her wishmaker and putting them into words.**

**Ah, and I'm trying out some new writing styles in this. Hopefully it isn't too awful. /orz**

**Warning: contemplative philosophy. No too much plot, basically. Ah, and I don't own pokemon.**

**As always, please enjoy the story.**

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><p><em><strong>. s t a r c r o s s e d .<strong>_

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><p><strong>x.<strong>

_(Day 1.)_

**x.**

_The night is young, but the stars are so old._

**.**

**.**

**.**

**(**_Come watch them with me_**)**

**.**

**.**

** . **

Thin clouds stretched across the expanse of late twilight like an aged white veil, their pale fingers spread wide as if withstanding the entire load of sky in their netting. I watched dim stars appear and reappear between the spiderweb-folds, darker now as the carnival lights began to flicker off beneath the hill. I could only briefly mourn their goodbyes (whimsical little fireflies) before they had all but extinguished, leaving the world black and white.

_(sticky candy. soft balloons. stringed lights. Ferris wheel.)_

I hummed softly and leaned back against the cool stone, hugging my knees to my chest. The air was unruffled for an autumn's night, quiet and warm and soft, like vanilla pudding, and it settled upon us, comfortable weight. Ash, Pikachu, Brock, Max. They weren't speaking much now, scattered in a loose circle around my earthen perch, all heads tilted up.

My heart seemed to have quieted itself too, simply passive but not tired. The comet was still no where to be seen. Only a lone moon hung from the post-night, dancing alone. She waits with us, I thought, waits to see her child. Smiling up at her glow, I gave another involuntary sigh and tasted the lukewarm night against my teeth. Surely I would have been more impatient if I had not felt so peaceful.

_Just a little longer then_, I promised myself. _Almost. _My lips pillowed another breath and I began to hum my little tune to pass the time.

**(**Sleep dear child, sleep.**)**

**.**

**.**

**.**

Then, suddenly, it was there.

Bright, beautiful, wondrous. There were no words for it because something so lovely couldn't possibly have been made for words. The clouds beside the comet seemed to shy away like wallflowers; they burned to their last threads and receded as the Millennium Comet finally, _finally_ made its entrance.

_Oh wow..._

Never would I ever remember feeling so small or so insignificant as I did in that moment. My eyes tried to trace the comet's path, far away into the distant space, and somewhere along the way they must have gotten lost, swallowed by the sky. I laughed deliriously, wanting the rest of my earthbound body to follow suit, limited to the ground, consummating with entire span of the night; I drank, ravenous for light, the sky, the stars_—_and _oh_, it was glorious.

I was brought back by our collective gasp, perfectly in unison, and it lingered between us, caught between the blades of swaying grass.

_It's beautiful._

"The Millennium Comet! Right on schedule!" Brock exclaimed out loud, grinning at the sky. His voice was layered with awe and excitement.

I closed my eyes and nodded, the smooth, pale light caressing my windblown skin, like balm against my flesh.

**(**I was waiting for you.**)**

My eyes snapped open as I suddenly realized something.

_Oh! My wishmaker!_

Gently flustered, I twisted around to open the pack secured at my waist. "That's right; I better make my wish," I muttered as I rummaged through the pockets, keeping to myself until I successfully found the trinket I had bought earlier from the carnival vendor. I pulled it out slowly, gently, as if it would break upon contact.

_A wishing star._

It was delicate to touch, like shell and pearl and paper, chiming softly as I lifted it above my head and matched the center circle with the heart of the comet. It was such a capricious little thing, so amusingly mysterious that I was almost desperate to believe its magical properties.

_**(**When was the last time you believed in happy endings?**)**_

I tilted my head, eyes fixed on the spot.

_"It works with the Millennium comet. On each of the seven nights that the comet appears, all you have to do is fold down one of the sections and make a wish."_

Once every night. I remembered the carnival kiosk vendor's words, donned in tan skin and tinted sunshades, all charms and baubles and trinkets, truths and lies and smiles.

_"...if you do it all seven nights, then your wish will come true."_

I believed him. Oh, I did, I did, I _did._

_"But you only get one wish, so make it count."_

Rules of the game. I pursed my lips in thought, searching for the words to say.

The prospect of wishes was droll thing, truly, made from glasswork and seafoam and all else ethereal. Yet it was not something that could be taken lightly, because in that one second, it's so easy to believe that the _entire world_ has suddenly landed at your disposal, laid bare beneath you, and the greed that comes is almost second nature, numbing your tongue and making everything so much harder to say.

Perhaps that was why I did not speak my wish out loud; though maybe later I would have regretted missing the chance, because saying the wish probably would have made it more of a reality than it turned out to be. But at the time, I had not noticed, overcome by all the different wishes that formed in my head, happy yellow colors and soft blue dreams _— _everything I had, everything I was, everything that I would ever be.

_Too many,_ I thought. _Too many_. There could only be one.

_("make it count.")_

_I—_

**(**aren't you happy with your life?**)**

**.**

**.**

**.**

When the wish did come, it was so painfully obvious that I wondered why I hadn't thought of it earlier. My hand reached for the first panel of the wishing star, hesitating.

_There's no turning back._

**.**

**.**

**.**

_(Yes. Him.)_

Gently, I folded the flap. The wishing star made a semi-musical jingle, a silvery, pleasant second of sound.

And, in that one second, I was hoping, holding onto my wish, _that special wish,_ with everything I had.

_("...if you do it all seven nights, then your wish will come true.")_

"Wow...once every thousand years…"

This voice was real. I blinked stardust from my eyes, as if just waking up, and turned to the side, lowering the wishmaker into my lap. Ash's voice had been full of wonder, yet his eyes had not been focused on the sky; instead, they had been on me. I met his gaze almost shyly, smiling at him when I found my lips again. He had been watching me make my wish the entire time. I wasn't sure why this knowledge was so significant- but when I brushed my fingers against my wrist, I could have sworn that the pulse there was beating faster.

I looked away from him, unable to hold that tawny gaze without smiling like an idiot. A slight brush of warmth caressed my cheekbones, so faint that it could have been the wind.

"Yeah, we're so lucky…" I whispered back in late reply. I could almost sense his answering smile, I knew it so well.

_(fairytale)_

_Maybe, maybe this would actually work_, I mused as an afterthought. Maybe. I felt like a mother promising her child, snuggled in the safety of comforters and a bedtime story. But I was that child too; I was still one at heart—I always had been.

I looked up into the comet once more, relinquishing the hold on my wish, the dream, one iridescent thread at a time.

_Maybe._

The wish floated off, and I closed my eyes.

**x.**

_(Day 2.)_

**x.**

The night was cooler than yesterday's, the dewy grass soft and cold beneath my feet. I hurried towards the hill, guided by starlight, feeling the wind wash away the rest of my fatigue.

_(the calm before the storm)_

I reached the rock quickly and climbed on top of it, a stone boat in the midst of springy grass sea, my voice still a bit breathless from running. Yet the cold stillness was sparkling through my body like adrenaline, filling me with a strange exhilaration.

"Wow, with all the excitement, I almost forgot – it's night two of the comet," I whispered to myself, rapidly taking out the wishing star from my pack. I looked up toward the clear sky as if it were day, once again finding the comet as it lit up the surrounding vastness with its glow.

**(**one day, one day, one day.**)**

I lifted the trinket into the air, matching the comet's bright center with my own.

"Oh, Millennium Comet, won't you please make my wish come true?" I asked softly, moving my finger to the crease, as if expecting a reply.

Silence. The question drifted away, unanswered, and I folded down the second section.

(please?)

**x.**

_(Day 3.)_

**x.**

I was sitting on the back of Diane's bus, swinging my feet even though they were a mere two inches from the ground. Even from this distance, the comet was still brilliant. I watched it dip into the treetops, as if hiding, caught following us like the moon would follow its children.

I was more or less surprised to find myself envious of its height. Perhaps, from that distance, the comet knew where we were – because I certainly didn't.

So much had happened in the last 24 hours, it was almost hard to believe that I was still the same person. It felt like forever ago that my friends and I had been on that hill, that rock, sun-baked by comet light. But now we had been given some ridiculous mission, thrust into our unknowing hands like hot coals, forcing us to flee from Diane's power-hungry magician and his betrayal in order to return Jirachi safely to his home in Forina.

I sighed, suddenly weary. It was darker out here too. The sky never felt more like an ocean until today, uncharted territory, and my raft was too far away.

_(amongst the sea of stars)_

I felt lost out here, shipwrecked somehow. But at least I could still see the comet, beckoning me like a lighthouse. Taking a deep breath, I held my wishmaker more insistently than before, as if it were my only connection left to reality.

"Night three."

Carefully, I folded down the third flap. The jingle that followed was more amiable this time, already familiar, like the clink of shards and bells.

_(how much longer should I hold on?)_

My hands withdrew, bringing my wishing star back with them. I closed my fingers gently around the trinket once more and held it to my chest, closing my eyes. Making my wish.

When I finished, I opened my eyes again, and the magic dissipated. I placed the wishing star back into my pack and lightly sprang off the back of the van. My feet met earth without much preamble, scattering dust as I made my way across the dry surface.

_(stars and clay)_

As I swung back around to enter the trailer bus, endeavoring for a glass of water, I allowed myself a quick glance toward our small, makeshift campsite, sheltered on one side by rock and flickering with misplaced warmth. The sight was so _familiar _that I almost forgot where we were, what we were doing.

_(tired comfort)_

My gloved fingers curled tighter around the bus door handle. The vehicle's hulking yellow frame was colored by orange shadows, protecting the other side of our safe little alcove from the emptiness of the crag. I permitted my eyes a fleeting glance— to the dying fire, promising light. Brock, stirring a mixture of herbs. And Max, curled up next to Jirachi…

(_so normal, almost normal_)

Then Ash.

My smile faltered.

I wasn't sure why.

**x.**

_(Day 4.) _

**x.**

_Speak no more, and live the dream. Lest you forget my name, and only then are you freed. _

**.**

**.**

**.**

_**(**_I'm still waiting._**)**_

Sometimes, I wondered how our world must look from up there.

Maybe it was with such a thought in mind that I had willingly left the company of my friends and scaled that lonely hill, reaching the top where our bus had been parked and staring out over the land, the water—closer to the sky and closer to the stars.

It wasn't close enough, but it was the best I could ask for. We had just set up camp near a riverbank, the water inky dark like the sky in its pre-evening passage. I looked up and shivered when I noticed the comet's light pouring through its cloudless jar and bouncing off the mirrored water as if it were ice.

It looked so deep, perhaps even the stars could drown in it. Yet the comet stayed aloft, floating to the top of the lake surface, a perfect replica, gleaming there. Maybe it was just admiring its reflection. Or maybe it was trying to outshine its watery twin.

_(just as beautiful)_

I shivered again, suddenly cold, staring down upon our little camp with curious longing. It was situated away from the river, the only source of sun-kissed orange in a canvas of blue, the only life in midnight's painting—lonely, like me.

_(but it was warm. I was not)_

I was suddenly taken by the urge to climb back down the hill and join that life, to sit by that orange fire with Brock and Diane, who I supposed were immersed in idle conversation right now, judging by the way their heads were bowed. Or perhaps I would venture further to the water's edge and skip rocks with Max and Ash, the latter of whom was currently trying to teach my brother its mechanics.

I could if I wanted to. I didn't even need to question it. I was part of them, and it had never been otherwise.

Why didn't I?

_(who was isolating myself but me?)_

Yet I knew why I was doing this, knew why I didn't move even though my heart longed to do otherwise. I had to make my wish right now, and I had to do it alone.

Shaking off the quiescent stupor, I turned and opened my pack, taking out my wishmaker for the fourth time this week. It felt heavier somehow, as if the folded sections had been encumbered by my repeated words, weighed down by the promises it could not grant.

_(when had this become a burden?)_

I lifted it up, taking my eyes away from the river and into the sky. They looked exactly the same.

"Four."

My fingers pushed down the fourth flap. The wishmaker twinkled and swayed, and I clasped it with both hands and brought it close to my heart.

_I wish—_

"It's all in the wrist Max! Just watch!"

The voice startled me from my concentration, surprisingly loud even though I was far away from it. I suppose I was just already too attuned to its tenor, boyishly confident and enthusiastic in the quiet night.

Letting out a silent breath, I loosened my hold on my wishmaker and looked out toward the source of the voice, sparing only my peripherals to send off the remnants of my wish, flying away. It had been Ash who spoke, down by the river's edge – no sooner had the words left his mouth, he had leant back and swung, a flat rock leaving his hand and skipping gracefully over the smooth mirror of water, creating rippled footsteps until it could go no more and sank. Even with his back turned, I could imagine his proud smile as he straightened again, and the thought almost made me laugh.

_(I wish I could see it)_

From beside him, my brother made a sound of awe, gathering his wits quickly and turning his own smooth rock thrice in his hand before leaning back as well.

"Okay, here it goes!"

He pitched his arm forward, and the rock sailed across the river, barely touching the water as it arched further than Ash's before finally sinking. Max cheered, and both he and Jirachi celebrated the victory with a silly little dance. Beside them, Ash gaped in surprise, then smiled sheepishly at his own overconfidence, admitting defeat with a blushing laugh.

I smiled with them, the fond little upturn of my lips more than genuine, happy for their laughter and happy to bear witness to their unmasked display of joy.

_(the two boys of my heart)_

I don't think I remembered ever seeing Max so happy, so carefree. At the thought, my eyes began to prick with the tears that only an older sister could understand, and my throat was suddenly too tight for words.

_(I'm so proud.)_

I quickly blinked my eyelashes free as the moment of nostalgia passed, smiling at the foolishness of my own capricious heart, now rendered soft and vulnerable in the safety of my chest.

Flickering my eyes back to the riverbank, I noticed that they were picking different rocks to skip now, the competition heightened to a new playful intensity. Ash turned, facing me now, as he reached to the ground in search, still smiling from residual laughter as he sifted through the grasses for hidden stones.

In that moment, the comet's light fell on the sliver of his face, and my breath caught in my throat.

_(shining)_

I shook it off, smiling like a sentimental fool. Taking my eyes away from them, I looked back to my hands, where the wishmaker was still clutched near my chest.

_My only wish is to be happy._

_(and with you, I_—_)_

_I can be_—

My eyes closed briefly, and my dreams lapped upon the shores, drowning me.

**.**

**.**

**.**

_It was a path somewhere, laid out in the ocher-olive color of sunsetted forest, and I was smiling now, white and bright, dressed in light chiffon and peony. I did not need to turn around to know that he was beside me too, laughing, that lovely sound, sheathed in gold, and our hands...our hands were...twined_—

**.**

**.**

**.**

**(**tell me, are you still there?**)**

It was a beautiful vision, and the longing in the pit of my stomach suddenly ached, increasing tenfold. I bit my lip, consumed by the moment of weakness and blinded by my imaginary sun.

_(and then I'll be able to keep you forever and ever and ever_—_)_

_Everything_, I thought. _Everything. _His happiness, his laughter. His hero complex, his confidence. And most of all, his heart, utterly oblivious but bigger than the sky.

_(Constructed of marble and glass, built on sandy shores; the kingdom of dreams grows tall)._

My lips twisted into a half-smile, almost a smirk, embittered slightly by melancholy nostalgia.

"_Come on guys, to the next Gym!" he would say, dipping his shoulder so Pikachu could jump on, not seeming to notice that I had been staring at him the entire time. He would flash a grin at his companion, then to the rest of us, stopping as his gaze found mine._

"_And you'll want to enter the next Contest too, right?" he'd say, remembering. Just for me, I'd think, hope. "There was a poster for it in the last Pokemon Center."_

_And I would merely nod, my heart stuck in my throat. "Yeah."_

He had taught me everything I would ever know. I shifted on my feet, feeling the weight of the pokeballs in my pack, my precious ribbon case, my dear pokemon. Everything I was, I owed to him. And sometimes even, when it was late at night and I couldn't sleep, I would turn away from watching the midnight canopy just to quickly glance at his sleeping face in wonderment. Without him, I would be nothing.

_**(**You gave me the dreams that I call my own.**)**_

But, even so—

"_Oh, I'll be a Pokemon master someday May, I promise you," he had told me once after I teased him with a newly-won contest ribbon. "You just keep chasing your dream, and I'll do the same. When you do become top coordinator though, I want to hear all about it, okay?"_

_I had been a bit stunned by this unusual display of insight. But I met his eyes and found that they were frustratingly young and empty. _

"_Okay," I had said. Serious or not, it was still a promise._

But he was still a child, I thought to myself, crestfallen. He may be my guiding hand in the world of pokemon, but he is a child elsewhere. In his heart. A child in the world of feelings. The tiny smile that had curved my mouth dropped completely off my face.

Any other trainer's determination would pale against his. But, at the same time, so did everything else. Everything that wasn't related to his goal paled in importance, disappeared. I recalled to the first night the comet had emerged, and remembered how the clouds too had withered away to let in the cosmic light. Glorious light, glorious boy.

_What am I to you?_

He had no time for heart, because his only love was for his pokemon. His journey. His dream that held no place for me.

_But why had I even considered that? Why had I even believed for a second that I could ever stand beside him as an equal?_

I was still an amateur in this new world, I realized. I had done nothing to deserve him. He soared too far above me, glittering feathers too far away that I could only watch from afar—

My heart had no right to restrain him.

I stared down at my wishmaker, suddenly horrified.

_I tethered him to earth, lovely thing._

I looked back down to the riverbank, unseeing. His laughter with Max had been real and true. Young and beautiful. Something so beautiful should not be captured. It should be left to wander free.

_But my heart, my heart, had already claimed his—_

With me, he was different. Perhaps not in a good way, I wasn't sure. But he never laughed like that around me. He always seemed more subdued somehow, gentle and mild, emotions included. As if he was just humoring my capricious whims.

_Because I too pale before his splendor. How could a boy like that even—_

I didn't deserve him, and I had no right to _have _him. Yet, this entire time, I had been trying to cage him like a bird, capturing him in my web of wishes and hoping he would fall into them, so I could prey on the laughter I could never earn and lock him in the gilded cage of my chest forever and ever.

_(is my happiness worth the price of his?)_

I had no right to have him. But my heart had already laid its claim upon him - golden, golden, _golden _boy – and made the mistake of leaving his cage door open.

_Oh, I know how the caged bird sings when freed._

My eyes went skyward, as if following his flighted escape. But I could no longer see the comet, nor could I see its light, even though it was right in front of me. Instead, I heard _voices, _so many voices, of all the people who had wished before me, on the same comet, with the same _hope_, millennia after millennia—and all of those wishes that did not come true had decayed into wails of betrayal and despair, forever embedded into the comet's trail.

_Stop, stop, leave me alone!_

_(would my voice join theirs someday?)_

I shook my head mutely, proverbial tears catching my throat and tasting of bitter coarse salt.

_He will never be mine. And I can never be his._

I hadn't noticed before, but my hands were trembling now, wishmaker rattling with them. I stared down at the closed panels, and for a wild moment I almost pried them back open, as if to free the pre-born wish before it was too late.

I didn't though, and as I whispered the once-familiar words, the wish sounded like a dying breath. I swallowed, unbelieving, and said it again, now louder, disillusioned.

The words melted instantly, like candy in my mouth, sickly sweet.

**x. **

_(Day 5). _

**x.**

The day passed without much incident. There had been a tangible shift in the air as we rumbled ever-closer to Forina, the deserted crag smelling of amber forests instead of barren sand. We were definitely drawing close, and I found myself becoming increasingly torn between feeling relieved and feeling disappointed.

I had spent my waking hours more or less alone today, perched on the cheap vinyl seats and staring out the window as Diane's bus rolled us across the terrain. Around me, my friends continued their daily rituals, though Max seemed to be more subdued than usual too. Once or twice, I was almost positive that Ash had taken a seat next to me, gold eyes probing my uncharacteristic detachment with concealed concern. He would start out that way, but then eventually become confused when I refused to turn around, ending with a hopeless wringing of his hands before awkwardly standing up again and walking away.

His eyes never left me though, I was sure of that. Even as he shifted restlessly in his seat, talked to Pikachu, watched the grey landscape meld into white and green, I could sense his gaze flickering to my back, shoulders taut and knuckles strained against the Plexiglas window pane.

I felt bad, acting so cold while I knew that he merely wished to understand, to help. Like he had so many times before. My heart begged me to turn around, meet his eyes and let gentle, petty conversation ease the heaviness in my chest, if not only to hear his voice. But just a mere reminder of yesterday's horrible epiphany would send my stomach sinking again, and I would resolutely turn away from the idea with a grimace.

Night came soon, and we parked next to a mirrored lake, the water cool and clear like a fresh spring. It was surrounded by snow-capped mountains on all sides, enclosing us in a bowl of stars. _Heaven's ambrosia_, I thought airily.

After we had briefly discussed the last stretch of tomorrow's journey and rested a bit, moving into Brock's last supply of dried plums, cheese and bread rolls, I quietly excused myself and left the bus, heading toward the lake's edge. The wishmaker that I had been inclined to ignore was burning a hole through my pocket, reminding me that the night could only last so long.

_But what if I don't want to make my wish anymore? _I wondered, knowing full well it was a lie. I had already invested my heart into this since day one, and it was impossible to back out now, no matter what kind of realizations I had come to yesterday.

But, even on top of that, I couldn't deny the small part of me that just wished for this week to end already. With the comet gone, I would no longer be taunted by the promises my wish couldn't grant. I suddenly remembered Diane's words from two nights ago, and how in the privacy of the bus, her sad blue eyes saw nothing but the Butler, her wayward love, and that her only wish was for the comet to end too, so she could tell him so and everything could go back to normal. Is that what I wanted? For things to go back to normal?

Half-reluctantly, I slipped my hand into my pack and reached for my wishing star, finally unable to stand it any longer. As I pulled it out, I realized for the first time just how _fake_ it looked. Pieces of flimsy plastic, acrylic paint, fragile strings and tassels. The folded sections took up half of the circle, blocking off the world like a mask afraid to reveal its owner's face.

I frowned, feeling sick. It was fake. All of this was fake, everything. The dream, the wish, the hope...all of it was in my head.

_(fool)_

I had put all my trust, all my faith, all my _heart _into something so _stupid_. This was all just a cute little story, something to supplement the scientific phenomenon of an icy rock hurtling through space, visible to the human eye every thousand years. The wishmaker was just a byproduct of this franchised event, another shiny bauble from an eccentric carnival vendor that sold me the item for my money, not to make my dreams come true.

I felt like a child, a naïve, gullible child, foolish, betrayed, and above all else, disappointed. Because if I were being truthful to myself, I had really, _really _hoped, that just this one time, maybe just this one time, I could really believe in fairytales and happily ever afters.

The sour grapes had never tasted so bitter. I hung my head, eyes trained to the ground as I shuffled aimlessly across the cold earth. I had yet to look up at the comet today, and quite frankly, I was not planning to. It was an unforgivable thing to look at now, a reminder of the greed it had charmed off my tongue, the lies it had coaxed me to believe. This comet, this wish—they had instilled false hope into my heart, transforming it into a ravenous monster, a starving human that did not deserve what she wanted most.

(If only I loved him enough, I could let him go.)

Really, besides feeling betrayed, I was also just terrified—terrified of this insatiable _hunger_ that had been released from my chest and could no longer be reigned in. Never before had I ever wanted something (some_one_) so much that it would hurt like this. And the comet had promised me reward, its legends telling me exactly what I wanted to hear. _Just make the same wish, every night, and it will come true. _It promised me, these lies, and worst of all, I had _believed _it.

_What have I done?_

Having the week end as soon as possible never sounded more appealing. In fact, in that moment I _fiercely _wanted the comet to disappear, so that without the temptations of my wish, I could bury it in my chest like I did before and forget about it, let it die like it was destined to.

My hand clenched involuntarily, but then quickly released, the sharp corner of the wishmaker's panel digging into my palm. I looked back at it, the way it was held protectively against my chest, something I must have done unconsciously.

And, impossible or not, I still felt my heart soften in spite of itself at the sight. It really wasn't the wishmaker's fault, I decided. Fake or not, it was just a weak little thing, just a trinket carrying out its orders, its duty, and really, it had held true this entire time, keeping my wish safe behind its panels, despite how wrong it may have been. I owed it that much, to finish my wish, so it could fulfill its purpose. The wishmaker was still special to me after all. It had already become a part of me.

Trying to muster a smile, the child of a thing, I walked with purpose now, closer to the lake's edge, blocked off by a cluster of towering rock faces that reminded me of my earthen raft, from that very first night, upon that hill. If I had the energy, perhaps I could climb up there and sit upon its surface to relive that memory.

The thought of that first night made me frown though, because I was happy then and I envied that happiness now. Still frowning, I walked past the rock and lifted my head a bit, a quirk, sending my silent wish to the sky, fearful sounding, before closing the fifth panel of my wishmaker, not even bothering to lift it up to the sky.

"Just two nights left," I said to myself, and my voice sounded so feeble, admitting defeat.

"Cut it out May!"

I whipped my head around at the belligerent voice, a soft noise of surprise escaping my lips, and immediately caught sight of my brother's sad amber eyes, glaring up at me. _Just like Ash's, _I thought deliriously.

Max's lips trembled, beseeching, what might have been _help me May, I want to cry,_ but then he had already closed his eyes tight, running away from me and choking on what sounded like a sob. "Quit counting already!" he shouted back to me, and Jirachi floated quickly after him, confused and worried. I could only watch numbly, so shocked and overwhelmed that my mouth was rendered completely useless.

_(the comet is hurting everyone it seems)_

Now I understood why Max had been so quiet today. He was running out of time with Jirachi. Of course I had known this—I should have known this, in any case. Yet, I couldn't even reach out to comfort my little brother; _I'm running out of time too, _I would say. _I don't see a happy ending coming up either. But we can get through this together, okay?_

None of those words came out. I was frozen, body stiff, half-formed wish not yet given life. Then, two seconds later, _Ash _of all people was running past me, breathing hard as he paused, spotted Max, and sprinted after him without even as much as a glance in my direction.

_(Ash—!)_

_Wait! _I wanted to say. _Wait. _But he was already gone.

My heart cried a little after him, pitifully weak.

**(**stay with me, _stay with me_**)**

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Sorry," I said finally, when my body could move again, when my lips could make sound again. But I don't think they heard me anyway.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**(**Forgive me.**)**

**x.**

_(Day 6.)_

**x. **

We finally arrived in Forina today. It was truly a beautiful place; a valley of tall sandstone pillars covered in tea green forests beckoned a cornflower sky, stretching across the horizon. We parked the bus on the cliff face and continued the last bit of our journey on foot, wandering through the sun-filtered trees, teeming with all sorts of Pokemon. Jirachi seemed very much at home, literal as it was, and he floated around Max's head as we walked along, laughing as he went.

Max was laughing a lot too, I noticed. He seemed much better today, probably because of what Ash had talked to him about yesterday night. I found myself both grateful and saddened by this, and I lowered my head so no one else would see the frown on my face. What kind of sister did this make me? I felt as though I had failed my brother when he needed me most.

I shook my head, trying to dispel the thoughts. No more would I dwell upon this melancholy. It was unbecoming, for one, and if anything, I could no longer afford to. This morning, when we rumbled our way through the ravine, Max had sat silently next to me and buried his face in my arm, like a silent apology, or an explanation. After the initial moment of surprise, my heart had melted to honey, and I knew he was saying sorry for what had happened yesterday. So, I had just stroked his hair, humming a few notes of my quiet tune, and for a beautiful moment it was just like those nights back home, when Max would crawl into my bed during a thunderstorm and we would stay awake long past midnight, protected under the covers and drinking from mugs of hot chocolate.

_I know how you feel_, I had thought. _Don't worry, we can both be strong._

Curling up beside me without words, my brother had reminded me of the strength that I had neglected for so long. And now I promised not to forget it any longer; I had to be strong. I had decided today, in the filmy amber light of morning, that I would finish this wish, no matter how much turmoil it had put me through, no matter how impossible it seemed, no matter how fake or childish it may have be...I had to finish this wish. Because deep down, despite everything, _everything_, at the end of the day, I still believed. I always had, and so I was unashamed to believe in my happy ending, believe that my wish could come true, by god I would until my dying day, just to show them I could. For Max, for myself.

_And most of all, for him._

My whole body felt oddly lighter now, less burdened. From beside me, Ash looked up from talking to Max to meet my eyes with his muted gold ones, appraising my expression with slight inquiry, a quirk of his lips. I managed to nod back to him appreciatively, and when his answering grin flashed bright and selfless across his face, I looked back down at my hands, not to withdraw but to flush pink, eyelashes brushing my cheeks and heart shyly peeking its way out.

_May? Are you all right?_

**.**

**.**

**.**

I didn't answer him, but I smiled nonetheless.

**(**Maybe now I finally am.**)**

**.**

**.**

**.**

Night soon fell and we set up camp for the last time, nestled in the shadow of the trees with the sandstone pillars as our guardians. Brock started a fire and began to cook a warm meal while the rest of us lapsed into easy conversation, sipping the fragrant herbal tea we had boiled from the assorted leaf packages in Brock's knapsack. It tasted like stars, and I wondered if it was just the magic of Forina that made it seem that way. Curious.

Later, after supper was eaten and the comet had inched its way directly over our heads, I excused myself again and climbed the small rock plateau that shouldered our provisional camp, facing away from my friends. The comet was as bright as ever, and I felt no more animosity toward it, only forgiveness. If Jirachi's legends were indeed true, then here in Forina was literally the birthplace of wishes; even the cynical residue left in my thoughts could not compare to that.

I lifted my wishmaker above my head, taking great care to match the almost-full circle to the comet's center, as if to make up for yesterday. _Almost complete_, I realized, and something sweet and sad trickled through me at the thought. The comet merely shined brighter above me, as if it were an old friend seeing me off.

Bringing my hand to the next panel, I pushed it down without another word. _One piece left__,_ I thought to myself, silently mouthing my wish as I brought the trinket to my chest, the words already like a mantra they were so familiar. It didn't taste so wrong in my mouth anymore, the wish, and I was grateful for it.

When I opened my eyes, any remnants of the wish escaped me as I returned my wishmaker to its resting place, welcomed back to reality by the sound of Max and Jirachi laughing as they played a game of tug-of-war with a stick. I leapt softly off the rock plateau and walked back to my place around the fire, smiling as everyone laughed at their antics.

But as Max's sister I could recognize the note of fatigue in his movements, and indeed the week had been long, especially for him. He needed sleep.

"Max! It's time to go to sleep," I insisted with hands on my hips, putting on my 'bossy tone', as Max had so eloquently dubbed before. From across the circle, I saw from the corner of my eye a curiously amused smile settle on Ash's face, though I wasn't sure why.

My brother looked up at me and pouted, forehead creasing. "What? But I want to stay up a little longer!" he pleaded, but I had long since learned to ignore that look.

"You have a big day ahead tomorrow, and you don't want to be tired for it, do you?" I asked rhetorically as I sat down next to him. Max frowned, cheeks puffing up, but it was only because he knew I was right.

"Oh, I hate it when you make more sense than me," he grumbled, taking off his glasses and cradling Jirachi in one movement as they snuggled into his sleeping bag together. I finally looked up and met Ash's eyes across from me, both of us smiling fondly at Max's behavior, sharing something. My skin felt warm again too, but that could have just been our campfire.

But then Max suddenly sat back up, this time holding Jirachi more tenaciously as he bit out, "But I doubt I can sleep knowing that it's my last night with Jirachi!" His lip quivered, but then he obediently lay back down before I could say anything. The strings on my heart tugged painfully at his words, but I kept quiet, struggling to smooth out my expression.

_You're right Max, _I thought to myself_, but stay strong for one more day. I'm trying my hardest too._

And in a place as magical as Forina, it was hard not to believe that anything was possible. _Call me a fool, I dare you_, I challenged the stars, my smile returning, easier now.

Feeling more peaceful than I had in a long time, I let my eyes slide close and began to quietly sing our mother's lullaby, as familiar as my wish now, letting the soft tune speak for all that I would ever be.

"_Find the strength inside,_

_You don't need a shooting star,_

_the magic's right there in your heart;_

_Believe and make a wish..."_

Even with my eyes closed, I could tell that Ash's eyes were on me. How could I not, when I was already so attuned to him? My voice rose a bit in volume, and in that moment, everything seemed so out-worldly perfect; gently, I opened my eyes so I could look up, trying to commit every detail of this moment to memory—the dark velvet sky studded with rhinestone stars, the silver comet adhered by trees, the dancing fire, burning out, Brock and Diane, with their eyes closed now, listening intently, Max and Jirachi sleeping peacefully, safe under the blankets, and Ash with his eyes never leaving my face, only to pet Pikachu's sleeping form, his smile proud and warm on his face.

I kept that smile with me, long after the comet had left the skies.

**x.**

_(Day 7.)_

**x.**

**(**_don't hurt them, please, please don't hurt them, take me instead—!_**)**

**.**

**.**

**.**

Time has never been a patient creature, I would realize later, when it was already too late.

**.**

**.**

**.**

_and the stars will keep shining in my absence,_

_from the day that I live,_

'_til the day that I die._

**x. **

_(End.)_

**x.**

With daylight came sweet earth and warm afternoons – it was only then that I realized _it's finally over._

The sun was floating like a kite in placid midday, sweet pomelo white and lighting the surrounding sky with similar pale glow, a washed out watercolor blue. The valley of towering sandstone seemed to watch us as we departed, majestic pillars that would guard over Jirachi's sleeping body for another thousand years.

_Goodbye,_ I whispered to them, casting one last glance toward Forina as we neared Diane's bus, parked at the top of the cliff. It was so perfect and serene that I found it hard to believe it had almost been destroyed last night, ravaged by one man's mistake and one moment's folly.

_Yet at the same time, it had been saved by that same man's love_, I thought, remembering Max's retelling late last night, after we had returned Jirachi's amethyst cradle back to its rightful home. _Butler may have been ruthless, but he loved Diane enough to snap out of it. He really is a good man; he was just blinded before, blinded by his wishes and desires and power-hungry dreams._

I empathized with Butler; I really did—more than precedented probably. Even so, I couldn't help but shudder at the memory of last night, running for our lives from the dark manifestation of Groudon, the valley crumbling and dying around us as we fled—

I shook my head slightly. It was over now. We were all safe, and that's all that mattered.

_(are you sure?)_

Butler bowed politely when we finally arrived back to the bus. He had one arm curled tightly around Diane, standing by his side, and a bright smile on his face, finally at peace.

"Diane and I will be staying in Forina," he announced as we gathered around them, surveying our eyes with relief when he found no lingering trace of distrust among us. I decided that this was his way of saying _thank you kids, really. I promise something like that will never happen again._ Somehow, I believed him too, feeling more at ease now that I knew this beautiful place would be left in gentle hands.

From beside him, Diane nodded. "We both finally realized what's most important; and that's to be together." She pressed herself a bit closer to Butler as she spoke, as if afraid to lose him again.

I smiled though, knowing she wouldn't. She had finally gotten her happy ending. "I'm so happy for the both of you! You got your wish Diane!" I said genuinely, and for a second, Diane smiled back. She was radiating happiness. But something about her still seemed a bit sad. I supposed it was something in her eyes that always made her look sad.

"Yeah." She searched my gaze a second longer after that, her expression holding an unanswered sort of concern.

_("what about yours?")_

I ignored the question, looking away. She did not need to know of the envy that tinged my words, however slight it may have been.

"How about we give you guys a ride back to town?" Butler asked, and he turned to move into the bus, taking Diane with him. One last ride, I realized, and was once again struck by just how fleeting this week had been. Astonishing, really.

Ash stared after the pair, steps perfectly in sync, heads tilted towards each other. He made a small noise of inquiry and turned his inquisitively blank eyes toward my own. "So what exactly was Diane's wish anyway?" he asked, legitimately confused.

I wanted both to laugh and shake my head in frustration. Instead, I gave Ash a sweet smile, shrugging my shoulders.

"Well I can't _tell_, my lips are sealed!" I trilled, a bit too high-pitched. I could afford to be coy now—now that things were back to normal. It was easier to shut out my heart that way too.

Ash rolled his eyes sarcastically. "That would be a first," he said with a bit of acid. I brushed it off as teasing, stopping myself from sticking my tongue out like a child. He would never get it, would he?

_(Diane's wish was kind of like mine, you know.)_

From the corner of my eye I saw Brock's head suddenly snap up, as if he was realizing something.

"Hey, what about your Millennium comet wish?" he asked me unexpectedly, looking over Ash's head toward me.

My heart dropped to the soles of my feet.

"Oh...no—!"

I scrambled for my pack, fingers shaking, and yanked out the trinket, as if unbelieving what Brock had said. But, sure enough, my wishmaker was incomplete, the last panel sticking up, despairingly empty.

For a moment, I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't see, I couldn't hear. My heart felt like a stone abandoned on the ground, splinters at my feet.

"Oh...I forget to wish the last night..." I said weakly, and the words felt cold and emotionless in comparison.

Everything. Everything I had done this week, all for nothing. My wishmaker was now useless, its magic gone with the comet, the wish I had so carefully preserved finally sent free. All those stars I had watched and waited with, moving on. The comet was long gone now too, and would be gone for another thousand nights, a thousand nights too late where I would eventually pass on, die without another chance—

I stopped myself short, surfacing from the moment of panic so quickly that I felt a bit dizzy. Isn't this what I had wanted though? To cut the strings of my wish and let _him _roam free, somewhere in the skies where maybe someday, I could join him. I didn't want to have him because of some wish; I wanted to have him because I deserved to be his.

Maybe this _was_ my second chance. The comet may be gone, the days may have died behind me, but the stars were still alive, watching over us. I was still here too, breathing, living, feeling—and so was he. We were all safe, a notion that I had honestly doubted yesterday, on the brink of vengeful night. But now everything was okay again, normal, safe.

And that's all I could ever wish for, I realized. Just to be with him, with every day as new day, laughing, smiling, living. Maybe that's what Diane's sad eyes were trying to tell me too. Not to ask, but to tell, telling me that _you can make your wish come true too._

I finally lowered my wishmaker, meeting the confused eyes of Brock, Max and Ash, realizing for the first time that there was a smile on my face. It was hard, yes, to want someone as oblivious as he.

But you know what? I wouldn't change it for the world.

_(how priceless it is, a young man's heart.)_

I took a deep breath, then let it go.

"It doesn't matter," I heard myself say. "We all have to make our own dreams come true anyway."

I met his gaze as I said this, staring directly at him, only at him. He seemed a bit stunned, but his golden eyes were clear, and I knew in that moment that my words were completely true.

"Yeah, wishing would take all the fun out of it!" Ash said after a moment in his boyishly enthusiastic voice, the stunned look gone and replaced with a bright smile. I would have rolled my eyes if my heart did not feel so warm at the words, so I merely turned away from him and walked back to the bus, smiling all the while.

_Oh, more than you know, Ash Ketchum. More than you'll ever know..._

**.**

**.**

**.**

We rode home in respectful silence, leaving both Forina and Jirachi behind us. Sometime during the ride, I suddenly noticed that my wishing star was still clenched between my fingers, last panel still empty, obediently frozen in time.

I looked up, seeing the world anew. Max had placed his head discreetly on my shoulder, sleeping peacefully. Ash was talking quietly to Brock, with Pikachu nestled between his arms. Diane and Butler were speaking in hushed tones in front of us, finally together.

And so, smiling softly, I relaxed my fingers and finally let the wishmaker go, tucking it into my pack and away from sight—effectively tucking it within my heart.

**.**

**.**

**.**

We made it back home without much fanfare and spent the last few minutes waving goodbye to Diane and Butler before we head towards our separate ways. Before we crossed the field, I looked back one last time to where the carnival had once been, seven days gone, and then back toward that rock on the hill, once upon a time my raft amongst the stars.

A hand on my shoulder stopped me in my steps, and I turned around in surprise, blinking away the lingering stardust left around my eyes.

Ash was reading my expression carefully, probably confused by my uncharacteristic silence, and he bit his lip self-consciously before dropping his arm to his side.

"Everything's okay, right?" he asked, naively, thoughtfully.

I stared back at him, contemplating.

_("We all have to make our own dreams come true anyway")_

"Yeah, I'm fine Ash. Thanks."

And I turned away from him, humming my little tune.

**x.**

"_Swim across the ocean blue,_

_Fly a rocket to the moon,_

_You can change your life,_

_Or you can change the world..."_

**x. **

_(sweet dreams)_

* * *

><p><strong>Annotations:<strong>

**[1] 'Day 7' – Recall to the movie that May did not make a wish on the seventh day of the comet because Butler's evil Groudon had wrecked havoc upon Forina, threatening all their lives. Jirachi also returned to his millennia-long sleep on this day.**

**[2] _"...and I began to hum my little tune to pass the time."_ - May's (or rather, her mother's) lullaby, titled _Make a Wish_, was the 'little tune' she alluded to in the course of this story. Parts of the lyrics were also scattered throughout.**

**[3] Extended bird/feather/cage metaphor – Did you know that Ash and May are the only two main characters to have ever independently spotted Ho-oh at some point in their journey?**

**[4] May's wishmaker is modeled after the Native American dreamcatcher, said to capture nightmares in its webs and allow only good dreams to befall the sleeper. These charms were considered very personal and very sacred to the holder.**

**[5] The beautiful valley of Forina is based off of the _Wuling Yuan_, a scenic vale of natural sandstone pillars located in the Hunan province of China. **

**[6] "...I know how the caged bird sings when freed..." – Maya Angelou reference, though her book title was '_why _the caged bird sings.'**

**[7] "...the words melted like candy in my mouth, sickly sweet..." – Reference to a line in Langston Hughes's 'A Dream Deferred' poem: _"Or [does it] crust and sugar over-/like a syrupy sweet [a dream deferred]?_**

**[8] You could say that this story was just a major psycho-analysis of May's personality. **

**Oh, and you know, I never really _did _tell you exactly what May's wish was, word for word. Like the movie, I chose not to reveal my interpretation of May's wish to the reader. Why? I know everyone has their own view of what exactly she asked for, so I did not want to ruin that for you. Though I am _severely hinting _that May's wish had something to do with Ash (there is evidence for it!), I'm leaving it up to your imagination to make it whatever you choose :)**

**Hope you enjoyed it! Please tell me what you thought of it!**

**Until next time!**

**Kisses,**

**- WingsofRain**


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